Recovery

After months of feeling lost, weeks of feeling depressed, I finally got enough courage to say enough is enough. Today I woke up feeling like it is time for me to let go and heal, since healing is the hardest for me. I do not hold grudges, but I will never let anyone else treat me any way the made me feel some type of way before. So, I will always remember the feeling I felt at that moment. I will always remember how I felt when I felt belittles, condescended, or inadequate. I have never been made to feel as though I was not enough but to know that feeling, I apologize to everyone who had to endure that. 

    Feeling like you not enough no matter what you do is a terrible feeling that hangs on to you even after the breakup. The inadequacy of the whole situation leaves you wondering if it was genuine or was it a game. When it is okay for someone to feel or go through something but not you something has to change. You start to dig deep inside yourself and try to monetize every hour of the day and end up wearing yourself out. I have overexerted myself to the point of a fresh start, only thing missing is a new place. Which will come sooner than I think as long as I keep pushing forward. 

     What makes today different is the calmness I feel inside me. Today I just feel like I need to make a change and let my heart rest. I will no longer be pressed; I will let him watch me and I will not regret it. I am a work in progress, and I am healing from a lot of traumas piece by piece. One day soon I will be whole again and life will be better.