Somethings wrong II

 In his mind he was leaving me in a good position because I had a car and a home while his was broken and he was going to stay with family for a while. He did not take into consideration that I had all of these things to do on such a low income. He did get a new tire for the car before leaving but after his announcement my brain was preparing to go into overdrive to survive. I spent all day out in these streets driving, I wanted to take a day off and knew I did not have the time or money. I never realized what all of this running was doing to me, I just knew I had to do it. I pushed myself so hard I had no clue how tired I was. I used coffee to keep me going on some night others I called it quits. 

I felt drained every morning and never paid it any attention, that Friday I woke up, got dressed and headed out to make some more money without thinking twice about it. I worked until 3, went to five and below, did a favor for my uncle, helped my mom and I made it home by 6. While at five and below I ran into a family friend who informed me of one of my sisters in laws birthday party. Being that I had not been out in so long and needed an outlet to help with my emotions I planned to go. Not even an hour later my sister calls me to inform me of the same event while my uncle is telling me as well. I then find out we are meeting at 9 at the club, remember I got home at 6 had to shower and get dressed then go back to pick my uncle up for the event.  While at the event I am having a good time. I am not allowing my heartache to intervene with my night. I had 3 drinks by 1:20a.m and we left at 1: 45a.m, I took my uncle back home and was headed home until my sister called me to come to her house.

 Now even now I am fine, no radio, no nothing to entertain me while I ride. I get to her house, and we are chilling, as I am sitting there my brain says, "Go home!" so around 2:45 I decide to go home. This is the first time since my ex broke up with me that I honestly wanted to be at home. As I am on my way home I am talking to a friend on the phone. Our conversation ends a little after 3a.m, I am literally around the corner from my house, I turn the corner to go down a winding street before reaching my house and my eyes get heavy, my brain says "stop" but it too late. I fall asleep behind the wheel and hit a park car. This night I caught 3 charges and luckily avoided jail. 

My car is totaled, my brain is wrecked, my anxiety is high, and I am lost at this point. I have no clue how I am going to manage without transportation. I felt as though my life was falling apart. I laid in bed all night trying to sleep and couldn't, I just laid there tossing and turning for hours on end. I honestly got about three hours of sleep in a twenty-four-hour time period. 

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